Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
