I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
