the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
