You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
