Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
me + whiskey = a bad person
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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