It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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