my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
