I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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