youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im holly from the hills drunk
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
