i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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