I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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