i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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