She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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