Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
