operation harelip BJ is a go
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
