I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
