My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
