Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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