She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
