This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
