Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
