Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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