i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
