went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
