I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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