Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
