yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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