help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
