If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
