So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
did i walk over a car last night?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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