the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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