You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
