I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
