Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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