I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
