I must be too annoying 4 u.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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