Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Randomize
