I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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