You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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