That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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