I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
