He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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