im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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