You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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