It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
