when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
