"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
