I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
