just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
