We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
