He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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