and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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