Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
